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Prostitutes are people too

Not that there is anything wrong with being a sex trade worker (on the other hand we also don’t want our daughters aspiring to become one).  As you very well know, sometimes we find ourselves in oh, let’s say a business meeting with someone whose girl friend is a prostitute (much like someone I met recently).

Now you may be thinking, oh dear, there are no tips in Emily Post on how to talk to someone who slithers up and down a pole for a living!  However, let us turn to Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) for some helpful advice:

Become genuinely interested in other people:

Just because you don’t take your clothes of in front of hundreds of strangers does not mean you cannot be genuinely interested in other people (when I say other people I mean the prostitute).  You can ask her sincerely where she buys her ever so cute 8 – inch heels and compliment her on her flexibility when she bends over.  It took many hundreds of hours to be able to master the art of bending over provocatively while wearing 8 – inch heels.

Smile:

Try to smile naturally and do not grimace when the prostitute flirts with your boyfriend.  It is all just part of her job, think of it as the same as when the boss asks you to photocopy a document, sure you are a senior VP, but you still smile and say okay (all while swearing under your breath).  Keep smiling and try to think of conversational subjects but steer clear of things such as gardening just in case the subject of hoes comes up – garden hoes are very popular at this time of year.  This would be a faux pas.

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language:

Just because a person’s name is Candy Ranch or Chesty McGee does not mean that she does not wish to hear it said over and over again during your dinner conversation.  Try it, “Oh Candy Ranch, could you pass the ranch house dressing”.  Just like you Jane, like to to hear your name emanate from the lips of others, releasing a warm, fuzziness of love, so do Chesty and Candy .

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves:

Encourage the prostitute to talk about herself.  Remember, sex work is a popular means for young women to put them through increasingly expensive post-secondary education.  Candy  could very well be studying quantum physics and had to turn to prostitution to pay tuition.  So listen to what the prostitute has to say, you might learn something important about new discoveries in the science world.  Or you may just hear that they oil up the pole before they dance. But hey, at least you LEARNED SOMETHING!

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Prostitutes are people too.  People with busy schedules like you and I.  Sure their job descriptions include oral sex and stripper poles but they still have other interests.   Remember that to stay as lithe and limber as she does the prostitute works out every day . Ask about the latest in hot yoga techniques. It will be appreciated.

Finally, don’t be judgmental – remember at the end of the day we are all prostitutes, just selling our wares to the dude who is the highest bidder.

Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely:

We all want to feel important.  You did back when you graduated from university and someone asked you what you majored in for the first time.  Remember, a prostitute is a person too, someone with feelings and desires.  So tell her it was a pleasure to meet her and you hope to do this again soon!

Be sure to wash your hands afterwards and try not to find yourself in dinner meetings with prostitutes anymore!