Summer in the northern hemisphere is short – really short as we all know. These days it is short, humid and smelly (too many bodies squeezed into the subway or streetcar – does anyone out there know how to use deodorant or take a bath?)
I have some tips for you on how to make our short Canadian summers even better:
- Go someplace warm like a friends cottage. If you have no friends with cottages then go and make some for goodness sake. Post haste! ( just wanted to say post haste – I really have no idea what it means) Once you arrive at the lovely cottage, turn on the air conditioning full blast.
- Drink a lot – throw away that water bottle and instead fill it up with some vodka or tequila. Trust me – everyone at the office will find you a lot more fun!
- Get rid of all your ugly friends. Ugly people in the harsh summer sun are a no no - save them for the winter.
- Do not stoop to peer pressure and do things you don’t want to do. Have fun. Do the watusi – but do not go to that BORING cocktail event with someone you do not even like. Summer is fun.
- If you want to spend the entire summer getting skin cancer then so be it – we have a national health care system here in Canada – just go to the pool or the beach every day and make your skin toasty brown – or lobstery red – depending on your genetics.
- If you do not know how to do the watusi learn immediately ! If Fred Flintstone can do it so can you.
- Stop leaving inane comments on blogs. Remember there are no secrets on the internet. None. We all know where you came from. So instead go outside and have some fun in the sun.
- Have a drink, relax and stop being so serious- – worry later about turning into Lindsey.
Note: this is meant to be funny – ironic even ! No one who writes for this blog really wishes you to turn into a raging alcoholic like Lindsey ( and if you do end up like Lindsey – no worries we will visit you in jail). Also if you do not have a sense of humour and are offended please do not read this blog anymore. We all appreciate it very much. Thank you and go have a drink and lighten up .