I discovered there are none. Sometimes you think you have been loved until you realize one day that you haven’t. I thought I was in love before, once or twice, I also thought it was reciprocated. But then one day I grew tired of the drama that kind of love entailed. I am sick and I hate the needless resentment and bickering. Then one day a close friend said to me, it is time to date again. I said no, I hate dating. To annoy her I signed up for an unlikely dating site, not one of those that are advertised on television but a smaller one with people my age. I thought it would be funny, a joke on my friend, I would say to her look I did what you told me and we would laugh.
Instead I met a few men for brunch or dinner and lost interest, I had a hard summer, I was sick non stop and dating seemed really unappealing. Dating means that eventually you must have sex, intimacy and I liked keeping those things at bay. Finally, I had enough, but one man, who didn’t seem like my type at all sent me a message and we set up a date. And, just like those urban fairy tales where a friend of a friend meets the unlikeliest man and falls in love, it happened. I met him man and I found him attractive but I was mostly curious. He was/is kind, gentle, considerate but oh so different from I. He expresses his opinions louder, raises his voice more, I thought as cute as he is maybe we are too different to make it work. Yet, week after week I saw him, and I fell in love with him. The kind of love where you want to look after, be with and care for someone else. He did all the things for me that mattered, treated me with kindness and generosity, introduced me to his lovely family and always remembered my child who still lives at home.
There you have it, I am sure stranger things in the world have happened but after so many failed relationships and standing firm in my belief that I would spend the rest of my life along, I fell deeply in love with someone who is both as perfect and imperfect as I am. Who knew? Certainly not me, relationships for me have always been more comfortable when I can maintain my distance, have long stretches of time alone and always but always sleep alone at the end of the day. Now I find myself wanting to be with him all the time, reading a book when he is beside me, watching him cook, or listening to music together.
I discovered that apparently in love there are no laws. No laws that state once you have passed a certain age, a certain amount of time alone that you cannot be in love.